Story of a Little Girl

As my three-week old daughter naps next to me, I can’t stop staring at her sweet little face and thinking back on those last few days of pregnancy, when it seemed like I’d never get the chance to meet her.  Little did I know, that chance would come 7 full days after my due date passed.  This is the story of her birth.

It was Election Day.  I forced myself out of bed and into the shower, upset at waking again with no signs of labor, but thankful that I’d be able to vote.  This was a particularly meaningful day because it was six days past my due date.  Since Everly was six days late, I never thought this baby would go past that.  Everyone said that second babies usually came earlier.  I was so over the calls and texts from friends and family that all said the same thing.  “Where’s that baby?”  “Are you STILL pregnant?” and “Anything happening yet?”  I knew they all meant well, but it hurt to not have the answer they wanted to hear.  After a good cry and a lunch date with my sister, I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself, and  spent the rest of the day running errands and tying up loose ends.

40 weeks and 5 days pregnant. 2 days before I went into labor.

When I went to bed that night, I noticed feeling a little off, but chalked it up to stress.  I woke up around 3:30 with jolts of pain that shot through my lower abdomen.  Although it wasn’t comfortable, I smiled and quietly told Marty that I was pretty sure I was in labor.  I spent the rest of the early morning hours awake in bed, trying to get through each contraction as best as I could.  An ultrasound the day prior had shown that baby was back in a posterior presentation (not an ideal position for birth), so I was content with trying some different yoga positions to encourage her to rotate.  Around 6 am, I heard the familiar pitter patter of little feet padding down the hallway and heard her call my name in her sleepy voice: “Mommy?”  It was just who I was expecting and exactly who I wanted to see.

A tear slid down my eye as I pulled her up into bed with me.  I was so grateful for this peaceful morning moment with her, possibly one of the last moments of just having her all to myself, my one and only child.   I was in pain but that was the only person, aside from Marty, that I wanted next to me during this.  She snuggled in between us and fell back to sleep running her fingers through my hair, as she always did, while I did my best to get through the contractions.

By 10 am, I noticed my contractions were really starting to pick back up.  I had been able to get up with Ev and make her her morning chocolate milk and cinnamon toast, but things were starting to get a little past the point of comfort, and I did not want Ev to see me in any sort of pain.  I would sneak into another room when I felt a contraction coming on so she wouldn’t see me doubled over and trying to make it through the waves of excruciating pain that slammed into me with force every few minutes.

At that point, my contractions weren’t following any sort of specific pattern yet, so we weren’t quite sure what was going on.  They would be 15 minutes apart, then 10 minutes apart, then 2 minutes apart, then 15 minutes apart, and so on.  Deep down, I knew this was typical for a posterior labor, which was what I was desperately afraid of.  If baby was still posterior, I knew I was in for a long, painful labor.  We decided it was best for Marty’s mom to pick Everly up and take her for the day, in case things got serious.  After she left, there were tears.  Watching her from the window, it was a like she grew up a little in that moment.

I spent the next few hours drinking raspberry leaf tea, bouncing on a birth ball, and trying some different positions to encourage baby to rotate.  Finally, after l had done everything I could to encourage baby to turn anterior, and when I was pretty sure that things were really picking up speed and intensity, we decided to head to the hospital.

Despite being an overcast, misty afternoon, Marty and I were both filled with butterflies at the anticipation that we might have a baby today.  As we drove to the hospital, he reached over and squeezed my hand.  I swallowed and tried to breathe through the contractions, knowing what was ahead of me.  Stand By Me played softly on the radio and I said a prayer that God would keep us all safe and help me bring our little girl into the world, whichever way she was meant to be born.

We were admitted around 3 pm.  About a half hour later, my sister showed up and sat with me through the contractions as we waited.  About an hour and a half later, my nurse still couldn’t tell if the baby was posterior, but I decided it was finally time for some pain medication.  My epidural was administered (and then re-administered when the doctor was too close to a vessel) around 5 o’clock; afterward a cervical check broke my water and revealed that I was about 4 cm dilated.

Finally at the hospital, contracting, and waiting.

Around then, things really picked up and that’s when I don’t exactly remember the specifics.  I just know that I went from about 4 cm to 7 cm within minutes.  Despite getting my epidural about a half hour prior, I was still feeling intense pain and so anesthesiology was called back to take another look.

I remember crying out from the pain and seeing my parents arrive.  Before long, my doctor arrived.  “What are you doing here already?” I asked.  “What do you mean, ‘what am I doing here already?’” she laughed.  “You’re about to have this baby in a few minutes.”

She checked me and it was confirmed.  I was complete: 10 cm dilated and 100% effaced.  Right after I was checked, I started to feel a ton of pressure on my bottom and knew it was time.  There wasn’t going to be an opportunity to fix my epidural, it was time to push.  My doctor paged that we needed a baby nurse immediately, and the room blurred as things were set up and instruments were prepped around me.

When my doctor mentioned that it only took 12 minutes of pushing the last time, the nurse joked, “Well now you have to beat that and push this baby out in 6 minutes.”  I wasn’t joking when I told her I would.  One practice push later, I could feel how low my baby was, and my nurse told me that we were going to have a baby any minute.  I remember pushing through the pain, and then hearing “OK stop pushing now!”  The baby was crowning with her hand on her face.  After she was adjusted, I didn’t have to wait for instructions for that last final push.

Amelia June came into the world at 6:40 pm, on Wednesday, November 7th,  after a long labor and just four minutes of pushing.  I felt a flood of relief and forgot every second of pain I endured as her tiny body was placed on my chest.  Just as when Everly was born, it was the craziest and most magical moment of our lives.  Marty and I were both at a total loss for words as we met our second daughter for the first time.  It was unbelievable and unforgettable, and just as our family expanded in that very moment, our hearts also grew tremendously.

7 lbs, 12 oz, 21 inches long, and 100% perfection.

After some bonding time with the three of us, we opened our room up to our close friends and family who were waiting outside.  I looked into the group until I saw her familiar face.  Marty picked Everly up and brought her to my side to introduce her to the baby sister that we had been talking about for so many months.

I gave Everly the biggest hug and buried my face in her curls, breathing in her familiar scent and trying my best to hold back tears.  It was the greatest feeling having her right there by my side and all of us finally being together as a family.

The Buehler girls meet.

The four of us, together at last.

There only a few things in life that I am greatly proud of.  Topping that list is most certainly creating and growing these two beautiful children, using my body as a vessel to carry and nourish them throughout pregnancy, and every second of agony endured in birthing them and bringing them into this world.  It is such a great pleasure and privilege to be their mother.

There are many significant moments in life that will forever be sealed into my memory – that feeling when I ripped an envelope open to reveal my college diploma, the day Marty nervously slipped a ring on to my shaky finger at the top of Art Hill, how I desperately clutched my father’s arm as I peeked into the crowded church on that beautiful day in May, and how my whole life changed as I sat on the edge of my bathtub and read that first positive pregnancy test.  But through all my years, I will never forget feeling of the wonderful weight of both my babies being placed on my chest on the days that they were born.

Everly and Amelia are my greatest joys, and being their mother is such an honor that I have been blessed with.  Sometimes, I just can’t believe that this is my life.  Amelia so perfectly fits into our family in a way that we never even imagined.  We are fiercely, madly in love and incredibly thankful.  This is our story, this is her story, yet this is only the beginning.

“You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”
-Dr. Seuss

Love,
E

Read Everly Grace’s birth story here.

She’s Finally Here

Amelia June. 7 lbs., 12 oz., 21 inches long, 100% perfection.

We’re so happy to announce and welcome our beautiful daughter, Amelia June, into the world.  She was born last Wednesday night, November 7th, at 6:40 pm.

She is everything we imagined and so much more.  Everly, Marty and I are delighted and overjoyed by how much our hearts have grown in the past six days.

I can’t wait to share the details of her very fast and furious birth, but for now, we’re laying low and taking in every moment with this sweet little tinkerbell.  Thanks for all of your love and support.  Talk to you soon!

Love,
E

2010 in Review

Wow, 2010 has come and gone faster than the blink of an eye and it’s most definitely been the best year of our lives.  While we are totally looking forward to all the surprises and new experiences that 2011 will bring, we realize that 2010 would not have been as special without the people who lived it with us.  You all know who you are.  We are so lucky to have had each and every one of you by our side throughout every waking minute of the year.   Thank you for being the best family and friends that anyone could ask for.  Without you, 2010 would not have been the same.  Here’s a look back at some highlights from our year:

January
Surprise! We’re pregnant!  I started this blog and began gearing up and dreaming about becoming a Mama.  I had no idea this little online space of mine would be admired by so many.

February
I’m still barely showing and wishing I looked more pregnant than I actually do.  We start taking belly pics anyways.

March
You’re hired! Marty and I both take new jobs and major career strides with two of the best companies St. Louis has to offer.  And… we find out we’re having a GIRL!

April
Not sure what happened in April.  I’m sure I was eating my weight in cheeseburgers and Pappy’s Smokehouse.  Anyways, here’s a picture of my hot husband.  Isn’t he handsome?

May
The Loo.  Yup.  Month One of our Bathroom Renovation project.  Being as I am 7 months pregnant, we decide gutting/remodeling our bathroom during this time is not the smartest idea.  Live and learn, right?  We also clink glasses to celebrate 4 years of marriage.

June
Hello Baby Showers.  We get ready for this little girl with our family & friends and have a blast setting up  her bedroom.  And the bathroom is finished!

July
Holy hell it’s HOT outside & what happened to my feet/ankles?  I am as big as a whale and I’m due this month.  My family goes on the beach vacation that we were supposed to attend and there’s nothing left to do but eat popsicles and float around at the lake.  Despite my HUGENESS, I rock an old yellow bikini since I refuse to spend money on a maternity swimsuit.  Marty is quite amused by this, though make him promise never to speak of it again.  I start writing letters to Everly to share with her when she’s older.

August
… And then our life began.  Happy birthday Everly Grace Buehler.  I’ll never forget the moment when we first laid eyes on each other and how completely vulnerable I felt.   Marty and I are reborn are parents and life has never been better.

September
Still sleep deprived and adjusting to our new life with baby, I return to work and begin juggling life as a working, breastfeeding/pumping Mama.  Holy shitballs this is hard!  We also start venturing out more with Ev.  I learn to do all sorts of crazy things – like how to change a poopy diaper using your lap as a changing table while in a tiny 3 ft by 3 ft restaurant bathroom.  Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do.

October
30.  Despite the stigma with this age, I feel amazing!  I’m right where I want to be & have never loved more.  After having a baby, I appreciate my body more than I ever have in life, even with a few extra pounds to lose.

November
So much to be thankful for!  Babies, husbands, families, friends, the grace of God, the air I breathe, the good times & even the bad.  Everly sees snow for the first time and we embark on her first Christmas.

December
Promoted!  And we’ve only just begun.  I start a new position and get a fat raise – Holla!  Everly gets baptized.  We celebrate our first Christmas with Buggie and Santa brings us a fancy red Kitchenaid mixer.  Everly starts solid food. She loves her rice cereal and sweet potatoes.  And this New Year’s Day, we woke up with a smiling baby in our bed instead of a hangover.  Life is great!

Thanks for making 2010 such a fantastic, memorable year for us and here’s to 2011.  Happy New Year!  Cheers!

Love,
E

Everly Grace’s Birth Story

Finally I get to write the post that I’ve been dreaming about for the past ten months – the day that we had been waiting for.

Everly Grace has finally decided to come join us and make our family complete.  After 10 months of pregnancy, 16 hours of labor, and the past four days of non-stop staring and pondering over every inch of this little angel that is our daughter, Marty and I are completely speechless when it comes to describing what our lives are like now.  If anything else ever mattered to us before, it is now completely insignificant and incomparable to the overwhelming sense of LOVE that has taken over.  I’m so happy to finally tell you the story of Everly Grace’s birth.

I had woken up Monday night around 3 am with painful contractions.  We weren’t alarmed, since this had occurred the past two nights and had not resulted in anything.  After I wasn’t able to sleep through them, Marty was awake and was helping me get through them as they occurred every fifteen minutes.  When every fifteen minutes turned into every 10 minutes around 5 am, I had Marty go out to sleep on the couch so that he could get some rest.  There was no sense in both of us being up, and I was confident that I could get through them on my own.

Each contraction got stronger, and I found myself in every position trying to alleviate the pain and breathe through each one.  Thank God that I spent the past year developing my breathing and concentration with yoga, because I don’t know how I would have gotten through those hours without that.  By 7 am, the birthing ball and breathing techniques had done all that they could and I went out to the living room to wake Marty and have him let his boss know he wasn’t coming into work.  I knew that we were going to have this baby today.

I spent the next two hours trying to get some last minute stuff done around the house, packing my hospital bag, and even managed to get a shower in.  By 9 am, my contractions were 3-5 minutes apart, and I couldn’t walk or talk through them.  Earlier we had wondered if this was a false alarm, since my contractions had seemed a little inconsistent and didn’t always follow the same pattern, but now we knew we had to leave.

By the time we made it to the hospital, I was checked in Triage and immediately admitted to Labor and Delivery.  I was 3 cm. dilated and 95% effaced.  The nurse was shocked watching my contractions literally go off the charts and couldn’t believe that I had labored at home on my own with the intensity and frequency that they were occurring.  I had back-to-back contractions while my epidural was administered and didn’t even feel a thing.

After that, I tried to get a little rest as Marty called our parents and best friends to tell them that this little girl was on her way.  I said a few prayers, asking God to keep myself and the baby safe and protected, and asked for strength to physically do what I needed to do to bring this baby into the world.  I had never been scared until this point, when I knew it was right around the corner and anything could happen.

After the house doctor came and broke my water, she checked me and I was 8 cm. dilated and 100% effaced.  My doctor was called and would be coming to the hospital when I was 10 cm. dilated, so we closed off the room so that I could get some rest.

Marty sat with me as I tried, unsuccessfully, to sleep.  I broke down and sobbed to him that I was afraid and started doubting myself.   He listened to my ridiculous fears and held me as he let me have the cry and vent that he knew that I needed.  Thank God he was there with me.  I couldn’t imagine going through this without a partner to bring you back up.  He kept telling me everything was going to be OK and that he knew I could do this, that he knew that I was more than capable of this and kept reminding me that we were going to finally meet our daughter soon.

By the time I was 9 ¾ cm. dilated, I had been feeling intense pressure and pain down low.  The house doctor checked me and said that they baby’s head was already extremely low in the birth canal, which was probably the source of the pain.  I got a top-off of the epidural and waited for the relief.

When the pressure intensified and the epidural top-off did nothing to alleviate the pain, we called for our nurse.  Ten minutes (and no nurse) later, I started squeezing Marty’s arm and begging for my doctor.  The pressure was so intense and I had an overwhelming urge to push.  I kept saying “Where’s my doctor? I’m going to have this baby right now, I swear to God!”

Marty started getting upset, he had already called for the nurse a second time and she still wasn’t there.  He was about to get up to get someone when my doctor walked in.  When I told her I was about to push this baby out and she checked me, things started happening really fast.

“Where the heck IS your nurse?” she asked me.  Before I knew it, my feet were in the stirrups, two nurses hurried in the room, and I was begging to push.  My doctor wheeled in a table with her supplies, the nurses frantically got busy prepping me.  Between the hustle and bustle of things and my verbal demands to push, a sink overflowed and started flooding the delivery room.  The rest was a bit of a blur.

I pleaded with them to push, telling them I HAD to.  My body was taking over now, and I had no choice.  When they finally gave me the OK to start, I gave it my all.  The pain was excruciating, but there was no going back.  I had to make my body do whatever it needed to do to get this baby out.

The contractions were still coming back-to-back, so I would do three big pushes and then get a 20 or 30 second break in between to try and catch my breath.  By the time she was crowning, I was so exhausted but knew I was so close.  By the time her head was out, I did one more push and my doctor pulled the rest of her out.  Within only twelve minutes of pushing, Everly was born and was immediately placed on my chest, skin-to-skin.

All I saw were big beautiful eyes, staring directly at me.  I swear she looked right into my soul that very moment.  I’ve never felt anything like in my entire life, nor will I ever forget it.  It was in that moment that I wondered how people could ever question if there is a God, because she was living proof.

Even though she was covered in fluids I couldn’t help wrapping my arms around her and holding her as I cried like I never have cried before, dripping tears all over my tiny pink baby’s back.  She truly was the most beautiful thing that I have ever seen.  Marty and I hugged and cried, thanking each other for her.  It was the most defining moment in both of our lives.

And so it was… This little bug popped into our lives and nothing else would ever be the same.  We can’t stop looking at her, touching her soft skin, inhaling her sweet scent, and looking deep into those blue eyes and wondering how the two of us made something so perfect.  Forgive us if you don’t see or hear from Marty or I in a while, we’ll be busy falling in love with our new precious daughter.

Everly Grace Buehler

August 3, 2010

8 lbs., 9 oz.

Born at 6:03 pm at Missouri Baptist Hospital